Negative

That's right. Negative. And I didn't even have to use a test to find out.

My temperature dropped yesterday and I started my period this morning.

(lots of bad words)

And I was almost late to work.

(more bad words)

I suppose I'm glad that my $65 wasn't wasted on the Lysteda. I took the first dose at lunch, will take one before bed, and hopefully the dose in the morning tomorrow will get a hold on things before they get too nasty.

This sucks. I hate it. I wish having my period didn't seem so violent. It's a disgusting bloody reminder that my body is broken and I. Hate. It.

You know, I didn't really expect this to work on the first try. It's not like I'm doing anything special, other than paying better attention to my body. I'm not spending thousands of dollars on hormonal drugs or procedures that increase my chances to conceive. But it's frustrating because I can and probably will down the road, spend thousands of dollars trying to figure out what's wrong with me. And then maybe drugs or procedures. And if those fail, well... these feelings will probably be a whole lot worse. Then they can just take these stupid organs out of me and I'll be done with it.

"But, you're not alone, Sarah. There are women out there going through the same thing."

Yeah, I know. But that doesn't mean I still don't feel alone. If I've ever said that to one of you, I'm sorry and am not discounting the fact that you feel the same way. And anyone who's said it to me. It's okay. I appreciate it, I really do. It's just a very hard feeling to overcome sometimes. Just cry with me, pray for me.

And maybe give me a hug. :)