Early Plan of Attack

In just over a week, I will be taking my basal temp every morning when I wake up. Again. I'm not sure what I will see right away, as I'm not sure if I will ovulate before I have my first period or not. I don't expect to see any regularity for at least 2-3 months.

Also, I'm not looking forward to having to buy feminine products again. Oh the joys. I have not had a period since October. 105 days, to be exact. That has been wonderful!

Anyway, I've had my eyes on a menstrual cup. I used to use a Diva Cup once upon a time, and I really liked it most of the time. It couldn't handle my insane "bleed till you're almost dead" days, but for the rest, it did well. And I really liked that it didn't cause any extra waste in the trash, I wasn't putting bleached and treated cotton up the girly bits. It didn't dry me out or cause any irritation. And they aren't more messy or gross than tampons.  So, I'm thinking about trying out a FemmyCycle. They make a model for ladies with low cervix, which I totally have, yay me. I'm betting it'll be more comfortable and work better for me than the Diva Cup did.

Then, I'll need to stock up on pregnancy tests. I think I should get myself mentally prepared for a good few months where I wont get a positive test, or maybe I never will, but I wont worry about that just yet. Then again, maybe I'll get pregnant right away!

It's just... been awhile since I've had to actually deal with the hope and possibility, and then deal with the heartbreak of a failed attempt. I don't know how long I should actually give myself. 6 months? If we don't conceive in 6 months, will we still try? Or will we give up for good? This is it, friends. If this doesn't work, we aren't going any further. We wont try any other treatments, or drugs. I'm not going to put myself through crazy fertility diets, or creams or hormone therapies.

The other day, we ate dinner at a friend's house. They've got a 5 month old baby girl, who is absolutely adorable. She was in a great mood, and let me play with and hold her for a good while. I got smiles and sighs and "hi's" and singing. Baby snuggles and drool and kisses. She looked at me, and I looked at her, and it was good.

The entire next day, I was on the verge of tears, wanting a baby so bad. I want this! I wanted to text Matt and just tell him how excited I was that maybe this laparoscopy and Lupron stuff and everything the past 6 months actually worked, and maybe we'll get pregnant and have a baby.

I'm so excited and nervous I could burst!