Not Fun.

I'm barely two weeks into my 5th month, and I have to say: It has been hard!

The Thursday after my shot, I woke up with heart palpitations. I think that's what it was. I could feel my heart beating irregularly in the pulse in my wrists. My chest was absolutely pounding. The muscles were spasming. I felt panicky, which lead me to feel light headed and exhausted, like I'd been running forever. Nothing brought relief. Laying down was even worse. It was all I could think about. Deep breathing, relaxing, anything else I knew to do, didnt work. Not even taking medicines (I had some leftover meds from my laparoscopy) thinking that maybe it would help with inflammation.

Nothing worked. It lasted for 2 days straight.

Now, I know you're probably wondering why I didnt go to the E.R. or whatever. This isnt the first time this has happened to me. The first time was a long time ago. I was probably 24ish. I went to the ER, and they did chest x-rays and EKGs and they all came back normal. They told me I was having panic attacks. They prescribed Vicodin and an antihistamine.  Also, I felt totally normal except for the pounding in my chest. Nothing hurt, there wasnt any tightness, or shortness of breath. I just decided to wait it out. I've also got a friend who had something similar happen to her after taking a certain birth control pill, which we both ended up being allergic to. I assumed that this was brought on by the sudden surge of hormones from the latest Lupron shot.

Another annoying symptom this time has been the headaches, for days. It's almost been constant for the 12 days since the shot. And I've felt irritable and unable to concentrate. And! I am feeling my bones. I feel old. My elbows and wrists the most.

And the last, most recent symptom: one of these two drugs has made me break out in a rash on my chest. It is super itchy, and nothing is helping relieve it. I've used tea tree oil, lavender, purification, olive leaf, nothing. No soap, coconut oil, almond oil. I'm having flashbacks to that above mentioned allergic reaction to the birth control I took over a year ago. I am paranoid about feeling like this is spreading to my neck, behind my ears... That rash I had last year was Everywhere. It was absolutely miserable.

Matt's mad at me for not having called the doctor yet. I will on Monday. At the very least, they'll let me stop taking the add-back pill for awhile to see if that helps. I cant do anything but let the Lupron itself run it's course, and if he thinks that it's bad enough, I may  not have to do the 6th shot.

This has furthered our decision to stop the treatment after the 6th month.

I keep thinking I can stick it out for one more month. I'm ready to be done.