Keep on praying.
In the middle of my sorrows, I have forgotten to pray. I let my relationship with God slip away from me. I have been so me-centered that I have forgotten the One who is supposed to BE THE CENTER.
God has blessed me with an amazing network of ladies in my church. I have been able to share this struggle with them, and it has really helped me. I am so grateful.
I've also been reminded that I cannot compare my own problems with the fortunes of others. We are all blessed differently. God's purposes are perfect, even when we do not understand what He's doing, or why.
And He knows my heartbreak. He knows how I feel. I cannot hide anything from him. Even if I keep my sorrows out of my prayers, I cant hide my heart. He's here with me, and He made me just the way I'm supposed to be. "I'm broken, yet perfectly sewn." The thought brings tears to my eyes. But, I think not in a sad way. In a hopeful way. "For I know the plans I have for you," He says.
I dont know if that means another baby. But I can hope it does.
This is this where I am on my chart this week. Looks like I ovulated on the 15th day (April 8th). I had my normal ovulation symptoms also, so that's good. Matt and I made sure to give it a good shot, hahaha. *blush* And now my temperature is on the rise. I read somewhere that women often see an "implantation" drop in temp about a week after ovulation, but it doesnt always indicate pregnancy. So, I'm not going to read too much into anything I may see in the next few days. My luteal phase will probably be more normal than last month, and then maybe we can see if it's too short... They've got meds to help with that, if that is my problem. Could be that I have ovulation symptoms, but am not actually dropping an egg. I think they have drugs for that, too.
So right now, I'm waiting again. We'll see what happens.
Here's to hoping.
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