I get my second shot tomorrow.
So far, so good in my opinion.
Here are what weeks three and four have brought.
Week 3: hot flashes have disappeared! Also, I am sleeping much better (not sweaty either!) and am not unusually tired during the day any more. Ahhh, back to normal, and it feels great.
The only unsavory thing week three brought was cramping, and a bit of spotting. The cramping was terrible, and I'd wonder if I was going to start my period at any time. I usually associate that sort of cramping with an insanely heave flow, so you can probably imagine the panic I felt. But it was just a bit of spotting.
Around the end of week three and into week four, I started to bleed a little more. It seemed like I'd wake up, pretty much in the middle of the night, or morning to more than spotting. So, I thought I'd finally started some kind of period. It was pretty light, until one day when I cramped pretty bad and passed some tissue. It wasnt like anything I'd ever seen before, so I think it was probably some sort of scar tissue, or fibroid or something? I'll have to ask the doctor about it. So, I'd bleed lightly during the early morning hours and be fine by lunch. I've been dealing with that for most of this week, off and on.
But, honestly, I'm great with that. I was really worried about what sort of cycle I was going to experience, if I had one at all. This just shows me that my hormones are being suppressed the way they should be, and that hopefully next month I wont experience any sort of cycle at all.
Overall, I'm pretty happy with how all of this is going. I really hope that it works well as far as starving the endometriosis out, and that my end results are good! Even if it means just being endometriosis and pain free for awhile, that's better than how things were before.
Five more months!
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Life on Lupron: weeks 1-2
Two weeks ago, I received my first dose of the Lupron Depot shot. I had been super scared about it (go Google Lupron and read all of the horror stories, if you're so inclined) and also didnt want a huge needle injected in my tushy! It was technically "the hip." Yeah, it's close enough to cheek for me! I was super scared about how much it would hurt. It hardly hurt at all, and I was super glad of it.
I was also given a bottle of "Add-Back" (norethindrone acetate) which is supposed to help ease the side effects, and comes with it's own lovely warnings. But I'm pretty healthy and shouldnt have any issues with it at all.
Anyway, Lupron Depot spikes your estrogen levels and then slowly bottoms out. I was told that I probably wouldnt notice any side effects for a couple of weeks. If you read the reviews online about it, ladies have said they felt them right away, or overnight, or within a few days, and that they were HORRIBLE!!!!
I thought I was smooth sailing. Week one only equaled mild cramping. For a whole week, all day, yes, but I imagine I could compare them to an easy day on your period, for "normal" people.
Almost right at the one week point, I experienced my first hot flash. Not really a flash. More like a flush. Imagine having a fever, or blushing really hard for about 5 minutes straight. My ears and the back of my neck were burning.
It happened at work, out of the blue. I looked over at my coworker and I guess the look on my face prompted her to ask me what was wrong. I asked if my ears were red, they felt like they were burning. She said "Oh yeah! They sure are!" And we kind of giggled together.
Now I experience these flushes quite often. I just feel like I'm running a fever sometimes, but it's not accompanied by any rapid pulse, anxiety or sweating or anything really bothersome. Sometimes my ears just feel like they're on fire. It isnt awful, or really even all that annoying. I'm not gasping for breath or wanting to tear my clothes off, or sticking my face in the freezer, or any of those other things ladies in menopause usually complain about hot flashes feeling like.
Second symptom: night sweats. I honestly couldnt tell at first if these were for real, or if it was because the seasons are changing, and I've had to add more blankets to the bed lately. It's like my body just cant regulate it's temperature. I wake up all sweaty and gross and freezing at the same time. I toss and turn and cant really seem to sleep through the night anymore. I dont ever feel super well-rested anymore, which is probably what contributes to the last symptom...
Fatigue. I have a hard time dragging myself out of bed every morning. I'm a little fuzzier for longer at work, and yawn my way through my shift. Then when I get home, I feel like a slug. It even physically feels like my arms and legs are heavier than usual. This is a close second to bothersome, after not sleeping well. And I just generally feel exhausted all the stinking time. But, I still manage to get through my day, but have had to add a nap in the afternoon almost every day after work. It makes getting through chores and bible studying really hard, as my motivation has gone to crap.
Other than these things, I've been just fine. My cramps have basically disappeared (I'm still worried about what my next period will be like) and I havent had any insane mood swings, thank GOD!!! I did feel a little eeeeeekkkk!!! this afternoon, but I believe it was just based on circumstance. I broke my food processor and that pissed me off, and had crammed more things into my afternoon than I wanted to (and no nap) and I'm cranky. No crying or bitching for no reason, which is what I was really worried about. I dont wanna be a psycho!
All in all, not so bad! It's my theory that Lupron horror stories stem from getting the shot in a 3 or 6 month dose, and it makes ladies all whacked out. So, as long as this is all I'm experiencing, I'll just ask if we can keep dosing me a month at a time!!
I was also given a bottle of "Add-Back" (norethindrone acetate) which is supposed to help ease the side effects, and comes with it's own lovely warnings. But I'm pretty healthy and shouldnt have any issues with it at all.
Anyway, Lupron Depot spikes your estrogen levels and then slowly bottoms out. I was told that I probably wouldnt notice any side effects for a couple of weeks. If you read the reviews online about it, ladies have said they felt them right away, or overnight, or within a few days, and that they were HORRIBLE!!!!
I thought I was smooth sailing. Week one only equaled mild cramping. For a whole week, all day, yes, but I imagine I could compare them to an easy day on your period, for "normal" people.
Almost right at the one week point, I experienced my first hot flash. Not really a flash. More like a flush. Imagine having a fever, or blushing really hard for about 5 minutes straight. My ears and the back of my neck were burning.
It happened at work, out of the blue. I looked over at my coworker and I guess the look on my face prompted her to ask me what was wrong. I asked if my ears were red, they felt like they were burning. She said "Oh yeah! They sure are!" And we kind of giggled together.
Now I experience these flushes quite often. I just feel like I'm running a fever sometimes, but it's not accompanied by any rapid pulse, anxiety or sweating or anything really bothersome. Sometimes my ears just feel like they're on fire. It isnt awful, or really even all that annoying. I'm not gasping for breath or wanting to tear my clothes off, or sticking my face in the freezer, or any of those other things ladies in menopause usually complain about hot flashes feeling like.
Second symptom: night sweats. I honestly couldnt tell at first if these were for real, or if it was because the seasons are changing, and I've had to add more blankets to the bed lately. It's like my body just cant regulate it's temperature. I wake up all sweaty and gross and freezing at the same time. I toss and turn and cant really seem to sleep through the night anymore. I dont ever feel super well-rested anymore, which is probably what contributes to the last symptom...
Fatigue. I have a hard time dragging myself out of bed every morning. I'm a little fuzzier for longer at work, and yawn my way through my shift. Then when I get home, I feel like a slug. It even physically feels like my arms and legs are heavier than usual. This is a close second to bothersome, after not sleeping well. And I just generally feel exhausted all the stinking time. But, I still manage to get through my day, but have had to add a nap in the afternoon almost every day after work. It makes getting through chores and bible studying really hard, as my motivation has gone to crap.
Other than these things, I've been just fine. My cramps have basically disappeared (I'm still worried about what my next period will be like) and I havent had any insane mood swings, thank GOD!!! I did feel a little eeeeeekkkk!!! this afternoon, but I believe it was just based on circumstance. I broke my food processor and that pissed me off, and had crammed more things into my afternoon than I wanted to (and no nap) and I'm cranky. No crying or bitching for no reason, which is what I was really worried about. I dont wanna be a psycho!
All in all, not so bad! It's my theory that Lupron horror stories stem from getting the shot in a 3 or 6 month dose, and it makes ladies all whacked out. So, as long as this is all I'm experiencing, I'll just ask if we can keep dosing me a month at a time!!
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
All is not lost
I believe in my last post, I was telling you all of the doubts I had about wanting a baby. Some days, those feelings are still there.
Here is what has happened over the last month or so.
I was scheduled for my normal yearly exam at the end of August. I went in, reviewed all of my symptoms, and was advised that we go ahead with the laparoscopy to see exactly what we were dealing with. It was really my only chance at having a solid diagnosis. My exam was on August 26th. They scheduled my surgery the week after that. I was expecting a long wait, but that was not the case. In fact, if I hadn't taken any ibuprofen the week of my exam, they would have gotten me in the same week! Anyhow, I freaked out a bit because it was sooner than I was expecting, but I was also glad. And I have to mention here how amazing my job is. They got me covered for the whole week after, so I could recover, and I never felt guilt tripped or like I was being a burden on them. I love SMB.
So Friday, September 5th, I went in for surgery. We were there for 10 hours. Apparently someone before me was having complications, and it pushed my procedure back about 5 hours.
Anyway, I get out and finally coherent, and Matt tells me the diagnosis. Severe endometriosis. They couldnt get it all without my undergoing major surgery, with about a week or so in the hospital.
All I heard was, "Severe" and "couldnt get it all." My hope tanked. I went through a few days of a kind of depression. I was so heartbroken. My heart was broken, my body was broken. I felt like I was in the dark, and just wallowed in it. Bursting into tears with no warning. I hated my body. I had an expensive procedure done, and STILL HAD NO HOPE of it doing enough to help me conceive.
My follow-up appointment was 10 days after surgery. The doctor showed me pictures and explained exactly what was going on inside me. My case of endometriosis went so long with out any sort of treatment, that it had basically glued some of my organs together. My colon is stuck to my uterus, along with both ovaries. It causes very painful symptoms, and the only way to "unstick" them, would be to do a major surgery, and probably remove part of my colon. I suppose if I ever have to get a hysterectomy, they will probably have to do that then.
I asked him what endometriosis was, and how it's caused. It's basically like a cancer. They dont understand what causes it, but it acts the same way. It builds up on your organs, and sets up it's own blood supply, and feeds itself while it spreads over reproductive and surrounding organs. It can cause organs to adhere to each other. Which is what happened to me.
I broke down in the stupid office. Still feelings of hopelessness.
Then he mentioned Lupron Depot. This shot shuts down a woman's hormones, basically putting her into a menopausal state. What happens then, is your body stops producing the hormones that feed endometriosis, and the endometriosis starves. The treatment lasts 6 months, with at least half of the treatment period-free! This shot also causes some lovely side effects: vaginal dryness, mood swings, depression, hot flashes, no sex drive, and bone loss. Dont those sound great?! Well you can look forward to that too, when you're about 50 years old.
Matt and I decided that this would be my best chance. Trials show that women who did the shot after laparoscopy went (endometriosis) symptom free for more than 5 years. And! I could get pregnant after 6 months of treatment. Seems to us to be a win. Or, at least some sort of good news.
So that's where I am. I have been really nervous about the symptoms of the Lupron shot, but I'm sucking it up, and had gone to get my first dose today. I also get to take a pill that helps counter all of the side effects. Of course, everyone's bodies are different, so I didnt get a very good explaination of how mine will react. So it's a wait-and-see. And it sort of scares me.
The only only thing that has ever kept me out of the dark completely in this so far, is knowing that God has made me this way, set this path before me, and will get me through it. With an amazing husband, with really good friends, a great church, and a lovely work place, He has given me so much, and He will see me through this.
Here is what has happened over the last month or so.
I was scheduled for my normal yearly exam at the end of August. I went in, reviewed all of my symptoms, and was advised that we go ahead with the laparoscopy to see exactly what we were dealing with. It was really my only chance at having a solid diagnosis. My exam was on August 26th. They scheduled my surgery the week after that. I was expecting a long wait, but that was not the case. In fact, if I hadn't taken any ibuprofen the week of my exam, they would have gotten me in the same week! Anyhow, I freaked out a bit because it was sooner than I was expecting, but I was also glad. And I have to mention here how amazing my job is. They got me covered for the whole week after, so I could recover, and I never felt guilt tripped or like I was being a burden on them. I love SMB.
So Friday, September 5th, I went in for surgery. We were there for 10 hours. Apparently someone before me was having complications, and it pushed my procedure back about 5 hours.
Anyway, I get out and finally coherent, and Matt tells me the diagnosis. Severe endometriosis. They couldnt get it all without my undergoing major surgery, with about a week or so in the hospital.
All I heard was, "Severe" and "couldnt get it all." My hope tanked. I went through a few days of a kind of depression. I was so heartbroken. My heart was broken, my body was broken. I felt like I was in the dark, and just wallowed in it. Bursting into tears with no warning. I hated my body. I had an expensive procedure done, and STILL HAD NO HOPE of it doing enough to help me conceive.
My follow-up appointment was 10 days after surgery. The doctor showed me pictures and explained exactly what was going on inside me. My case of endometriosis went so long with out any sort of treatment, that it had basically glued some of my organs together. My colon is stuck to my uterus, along with both ovaries. It causes very painful symptoms, and the only way to "unstick" them, would be to do a major surgery, and probably remove part of my colon. I suppose if I ever have to get a hysterectomy, they will probably have to do that then.
I asked him what endometriosis was, and how it's caused. It's basically like a cancer. They dont understand what causes it, but it acts the same way. It builds up on your organs, and sets up it's own blood supply, and feeds itself while it spreads over reproductive and surrounding organs. It can cause organs to adhere to each other. Which is what happened to me.
I broke down in the stupid office. Still feelings of hopelessness.
Then he mentioned Lupron Depot. This shot shuts down a woman's hormones, basically putting her into a menopausal state. What happens then, is your body stops producing the hormones that feed endometriosis, and the endometriosis starves. The treatment lasts 6 months, with at least half of the treatment period-free! This shot also causes some lovely side effects: vaginal dryness, mood swings, depression, hot flashes, no sex drive, and bone loss. Dont those sound great?! Well you can look forward to that too, when you're about 50 years old.
Matt and I decided that this would be my best chance. Trials show that women who did the shot after laparoscopy went (endometriosis) symptom free for more than 5 years. And! I could get pregnant after 6 months of treatment. Seems to us to be a win. Or, at least some sort of good news.
So that's where I am. I have been really nervous about the symptoms of the Lupron shot, but I'm sucking it up, and had gone to get my first dose today. I also get to take a pill that helps counter all of the side effects. Of course, everyone's bodies are different, so I didnt get a very good explaination of how mine will react. So it's a wait-and-see. And it sort of scares me.
The only only thing that has ever kept me out of the dark completely in this so far, is knowing that God has made me this way, set this path before me, and will get me through it. With an amazing husband, with really good friends, a great church, and a lovely work place, He has given me so much, and He will see me through this.
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Floating
It feels like it's been months since I've blogged. Also, I'm feeling a little sentimental right now, so this should be interesting.
Let's get right to it:
I'm not sure if I want another baby anymore.
Honestly, it feels like it would be too much work. I'll be at least well into 35 before I have a second baby.
I called and made an appointment with my lady doctor. He's booked until the end of August. It would not be fair to me, or Matt, if I didn't give the laparoscopy a shot before we gave up. But at the same time... we could save a LOT of money if we decided to forgo the whole thing, and I just get an ablation instead.
My brain says: Jade will be graduated in 3 years. We jokingly told her that WE will be moving out when she turns 18. And Jade is such a free spirit, I very well expect her to be off and running as soon as she can leave us. We, all 3 of us, still have our lives ahead of us, to do whatever we want!
If we have a baby now, it would be starting all over again. I would be in my 50's before new baby would be 18. Wow.
Do I have the patience? I would quit my job. Home school. New baby would be my new life.
What do I really want? I want freedom. And I want a baby. I want both. Matt says the same thing.
I see mommas with babies and they cry, and they whine and they fuss. Sure, they're cute. God made them that way so you dont kill them within a couple of months of birthing. ;) They're a lot of work. My first three weeks with Jade was terrible. I was 19 years old, didnt know a thing, and no one was there to help me. Of course, my support system is a lot stronger now than it was then. But I'm so selfish. Do I want to give everything up for another baby?
Yes.
And no.
I dont know, friends. I just dont right now.
Let's get right to it:
I'm not sure if I want another baby anymore.
Honestly, it feels like it would be too much work. I'll be at least well into 35 before I have a second baby.
I called and made an appointment with my lady doctor. He's booked until the end of August. It would not be fair to me, or Matt, if I didn't give the laparoscopy a shot before we gave up. But at the same time... we could save a LOT of money if we decided to forgo the whole thing, and I just get an ablation instead.
My brain says: Jade will be graduated in 3 years. We jokingly told her that WE will be moving out when she turns 18. And Jade is such a free spirit, I very well expect her to be off and running as soon as she can leave us. We, all 3 of us, still have our lives ahead of us, to do whatever we want!
If we have a baby now, it would be starting all over again. I would be in my 50's before new baby would be 18. Wow.
Do I have the patience? I would quit my job. Home school. New baby would be my new life.
What do I really want? I want freedom. And I want a baby. I want both. Matt says the same thing.
I see mommas with babies and they cry, and they whine and they fuss. Sure, they're cute. God made them that way so you dont kill them within a couple of months of birthing. ;) They're a lot of work. My first three weeks with Jade was terrible. I was 19 years old, didnt know a thing, and no one was there to help me. Of course, my support system is a lot stronger now than it was then. But I'm so selfish. Do I want to give everything up for another baby?
Yes.
And no.
I dont know, friends. I just dont right now.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
It's Quiet
I know I havent written much lately. Nothing is really going on. Last month was a bust. Matt was sick the week I ovulated, which made intimacy pretty much non-existent. My period this time, even on medicine, was worse than it has been the past couple of months. I still havent made my appointment yet, but now I'll have that to add to the list of things I should talk to him about.
For the most part, I'm feeling just sort of "meh" all around. Except maybe at my job, which I love.
But just when I'm feeling pretty down in the dumps, a wonderful friend will chime in with something like this, and I feel so much better. There are no coincidences, friends. I'll leave you with this...
Waiting! Yes, patiently waiting!
Till next steps made plain will be;
To hear, with the inner hearing,
The Voice that will call for me.
Waiting! Yes, hopefully waiting!
With hope that need not grow dim;
The Master is pledged to guide me,
And my eyes are unto Him.
Waiting! Expectantly waiting!
Perhaps it may be today
The Master will quickly open
The gate to my future way.
Waiting! Yes, waiting! still waiting!
I know, though I've waited long,
That, while He withholds His purpose,
His waiting cannot be wrong.
Waiting! Yes, waiting! still waiting!
The Master will not be late:
Since He knows that I am waiting
For Him to unlatch the gate.
J. Danson Smith
For the most part, I'm feeling just sort of "meh" all around. Except maybe at my job, which I love.
But just when I'm feeling pretty down in the dumps, a wonderful friend will chime in with something like this, and I feel so much better. There are no coincidences, friends. I'll leave you with this...
Waiting! Yes, patiently waiting!
Till next steps made plain will be;
To hear, with the inner hearing,
The Voice that will call for me.
Waiting! Yes, hopefully waiting!
With hope that need not grow dim;
The Master is pledged to guide me,
And my eyes are unto Him.
Waiting! Expectantly waiting!
Perhaps it may be today
The Master will quickly open
The gate to my future way.
Waiting! Yes, waiting! still waiting!
I know, though I've waited long,
That, while He withholds His purpose,
His waiting cannot be wrong.
Waiting! Yes, waiting! still waiting!
The Master will not be late:
Since He knows that I am waiting
For Him to unlatch the gate.
J. Danson Smith
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Another one bites the dust
Yep, you guessed it. Not pregnant again.
I was due for my period on my birthday. Well, my birthday came and my temp hadn't dropped, and nothing else was happening, either. I hadn't even noticed any PMS symptoms (Matt said he hadn't noticed any either) and wasn't cramping or anything. So I took a pregnancy test, on my birthday. To quote Matt: "If you're pregnant, I don't have to get you a birthday present because I already GAVE it to you." Oh, my. I love that man.
Unfortunately, the test was negative. We both pouted a little bit about it, but that was about all. It didnt even really bother me that much until I was talking about it with my hair lady and told her I wasnt going to let it break me. I don't know if she noticed that it was a little hard for me to say, and maybe she noticed a little chin quiver... But. I didn't let it break me. Not this time.
Then I woke up the next day, and my temperature had tanked on me. Started my period that afternoon. Guess the temp thing is pretty reliable after all.
Good news this cycle: my ovulation symptoms and temperature line up. Yay. My luteal phase is long enough, also yay. I was worried that maybe I wasn't dropping an egg at all, but looking at anovulatory bbt charts online and comparing them make me pretty sure that I am indeed ovulating fine. Those charts are a mess. Poor ladies... :(
Good news #2: my new insurance covers almost all of my Lysteda cost, from $65 down to $15. Woohoo!
Good news #3: I got the okay from my boss to take a week off for laparoscopy surgery, should that be the route we go next. If I'm ovulating fine, and Matt's boys are working just fine, then we need to see why these eggs of mine arent implanting.
Time to make an appointment. I need my yearly anyway, and then I can talk to my doctor about options, and show him my chart! :)
So, not so upset this month. It still sucks, but I am hopeful!
I was due for my period on my birthday. Well, my birthday came and my temp hadn't dropped, and nothing else was happening, either. I hadn't even noticed any PMS symptoms (Matt said he hadn't noticed any either) and wasn't cramping or anything. So I took a pregnancy test, on my birthday. To quote Matt: "If you're pregnant, I don't have to get you a birthday present because I already GAVE it to you." Oh, my. I love that man.
Unfortunately, the test was negative. We both pouted a little bit about it, but that was about all. It didnt even really bother me that much until I was talking about it with my hair lady and told her I wasnt going to let it break me. I don't know if she noticed that it was a little hard for me to say, and maybe she noticed a little chin quiver... But. I didn't let it break me. Not this time.
Then I woke up the next day, and my temperature had tanked on me. Started my period that afternoon. Guess the temp thing is pretty reliable after all.
Good news this cycle: my ovulation symptoms and temperature line up. Yay. My luteal phase is long enough, also yay. I was worried that maybe I wasn't dropping an egg at all, but looking at anovulatory bbt charts online and comparing them make me pretty sure that I am indeed ovulating fine. Those charts are a mess. Poor ladies... :(
Good news #2: my new insurance covers almost all of my Lysteda cost, from $65 down to $15. Woohoo!
Good news #3: I got the okay from my boss to take a week off for laparoscopy surgery, should that be the route we go next. If I'm ovulating fine, and Matt's boys are working just fine, then we need to see why these eggs of mine arent implanting.
Time to make an appointment. I need my yearly anyway, and then I can talk to my doctor about options, and show him my chart! :)
So, not so upset this month. It still sucks, but I am hopeful!
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Hoping
Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. ~Rom 12:12
Keep on praying.
In the middle of my sorrows, I have forgotten to pray. I let my relationship with God slip away from me. I have been so me-centered that I have forgotten the One who is supposed to BE THE CENTER.
God has blessed me with an amazing network of ladies in my church. I have been able to share this struggle with them, and it has really helped me. I am so grateful.
I've also been reminded that I cannot compare my own problems with the fortunes of others. We are all blessed differently. God's purposes are perfect, even when we do not understand what He's doing, or why.
And He knows my heartbreak. He knows how I feel. I cannot hide anything from him. Even if I keep my sorrows out of my prayers, I cant hide my heart. He's here with me, and He made me just the way I'm supposed to be. "I'm broken, yet perfectly sewn." The thought brings tears to my eyes. But, I think not in a sad way. In a hopeful way. "For I know the plans I have for you," He says.
I dont know if that means another baby. But I can hope it does.
This is this where I am on my chart this week. Looks like I ovulated on the 15th day (April 8th). I had my normal ovulation symptoms also, so that's good. Matt and I made sure to give it a good shot, hahaha. *blush* And now my temperature is on the rise. I read somewhere that women often see an "implantation" drop in temp about a week after ovulation, but it doesnt always indicate pregnancy. So, I'm not going to read too much into anything I may see in the next few days. My luteal phase will probably be more normal than last month, and then maybe we can see if it's too short... They've got meds to help with that, if that is my problem. Could be that I have ovulation symptoms, but am not actually dropping an egg. I think they have drugs for that, too.
So right now, I'm waiting again. We'll see what happens.
Here's to hoping.
Keep on praying.
In the middle of my sorrows, I have forgotten to pray. I let my relationship with God slip away from me. I have been so me-centered that I have forgotten the One who is supposed to BE THE CENTER.
God has blessed me with an amazing network of ladies in my church. I have been able to share this struggle with them, and it has really helped me. I am so grateful.
I've also been reminded that I cannot compare my own problems with the fortunes of others. We are all blessed differently. God's purposes are perfect, even when we do not understand what He's doing, or why.
And He knows my heartbreak. He knows how I feel. I cannot hide anything from him. Even if I keep my sorrows out of my prayers, I cant hide my heart. He's here with me, and He made me just the way I'm supposed to be. "I'm broken, yet perfectly sewn." The thought brings tears to my eyes. But, I think not in a sad way. In a hopeful way. "For I know the plans I have for you," He says.
I dont know if that means another baby. But I can hope it does.
This is this where I am on my chart this week. Looks like I ovulated on the 15th day (April 8th). I had my normal ovulation symptoms also, so that's good. Matt and I made sure to give it a good shot, hahaha. *blush* And now my temperature is on the rise. I read somewhere that women often see an "implantation" drop in temp about a week after ovulation, but it doesnt always indicate pregnancy. So, I'm not going to read too much into anything I may see in the next few days. My luteal phase will probably be more normal than last month, and then maybe we can see if it's too short... They've got meds to help with that, if that is my problem. Could be that I have ovulation symptoms, but am not actually dropping an egg. I think they have drugs for that, too.
So right now, I'm waiting again. We'll see what happens.
Here's to hoping.
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